I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
