well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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