If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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