what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Did I show you my penis last night?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
