He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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