it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
