the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I skipped work to stalk him.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
