He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
