Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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