I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just puked most of my soul out..
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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