The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
