The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
