And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
