If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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