i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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