I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
