You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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