What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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