get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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