At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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