I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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