He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
