Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
