Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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