I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
