its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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