I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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