We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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