Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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