My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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