So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
