He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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