Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
