the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
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I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
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what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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