I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
