Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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