So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
