I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
