Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
