don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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