I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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