We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
