apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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