No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize