yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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