it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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