My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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