we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
