You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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