i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
