I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Enjoy the penises
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
