yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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