Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
my poor anus
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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