He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
