"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize