He kissed a someone with a penis
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
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