so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
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