Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
