his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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