What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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