Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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