We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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