is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I don't deserve a penis
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
