so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
