I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
