Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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