I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Small penises have feelings too.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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