she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
