Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I use my feet as sexual weapons
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
